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Bringing home a little girl

3 Aug

Well, my little girl is 10 days old today. Sheesh.. it’s unreal. Indescribable.

Adjusting to this new life of mine has been, uh… interesting, to say the least.

I had a pretty big scare the last couple of days… she kept throwing up after a feeding. I was at my mom’s house after the last time she threw up, which was all over me. Thankfully, my mom was there because I started to cry right afterwards. I was so worried about her, exhausted, and just plain overwhelmed. My mom took her from me and cleaned her up, let me clean myself off, and told me to call the doctor. The advice nurse told me we should come in right away since she’d been throwing up like that after some feedings for the last day.

I don’t want to get into too much detail about it all because I’m still worried… as she hasn’t been gaining weight as she should… but since going to the doctor’s I’ve been monitoring how long I feed her and how often. She had her two week growth check up today and her usual pediatrician said to hold her vertical after feedings for a half hour. So, feeding my baby has turned into a full time job… let alone all the other full time mom jobs I gotta do.

I’m still worried. And I go back and forth whether I should switch to formula so she can gain some more weight… but I know that breast feeding is beneficial on so many levels. Plus, I really enjoy feeding her. It’s her and me time.

I’ve been having some weird feelings about meeting up with friends lately. I feel terrible because I know everyone wants to see her, but I don’t feel like sharing at the moment. Part of me worries that I feel like my friendships are changed, indefinitely. Interestingly, I was listening to NPR earlier today and they had someone on who I guess was an advice columnist about relationships. She was describing life with and without children, and she said it perfectly:

There’s your life before children, and then there’s your life after.

I just heard that and kinda felt… I don’t know. No matter how I look at it, my life is forever changed. Does that mean my friendships are too?

Just a side note: If we’re friends, and you have been trying to come by to visit. Don’t take it personally that I tell you no. I really am just trying to adjust to this life of mine. And I am being a bit selfish, I don’t want to share her with everyone just yet. I hope you can all understand that… I’m still learning.

Enough of that… let’s end this post with a really cute baby girl.

Lux and I at the hospital.

Out.

She loves her daddy.

Muahaha.