nine months.

25 Apr

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i’m a few days late, i’m just getting over the most terrible stomach flu that became an epidemic in my family. no joke, 6 of us in our family got it. and in pure Emily fashion, I got it the worst. oh, the fun things you endure for having a compromised immune system

 

anyways, on Tuesday (the 23rd), Lux turned 9 months old. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. 

 

seriously, just three more months and she’s no longer a baby? what? *sigh*

 

she’s starting to stand on her own. she babbles a whole lot. not sure about what,

but she’s got some really important things to say, apparently. still no saying mama, but i swear she said “No” to me the other day….

 

and so it begins…..

 

happy 9 months my daughter. i love you more with every day that 
passes.
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just some words.

13 Apr

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I’ve begun to notice how painfully tired I am every single morning when the baby wakes up. How I’m pretty snippy, and grouchy when I’m getting out of bed. Whining, wishing I could just sleep an extra ten minutes, half hour, two hours. But then I get up, and head downstairs with my girl and the day begins. I usually grab a soda, coffee, or tea to wake me up. Why am I complaining? She never wakes up before 7:30 am, and averages 8 am every morning. I have friends who baby’s wake up at 6. 

As the day passes, I get little breaks here and there when she goes down for naps. I really enjoy these times to myself. Sometimes I nap, catch up on my favorite TV showed with I DVR’d the night before, or do the dishes or start the laundry. I selfishly think, why can’t she take a three hour nap? So I can take a real nap. But, I am always grateful for any nap she gives me. 

 

Then, night falls. And all I can think about is how much I miss her. I constantly tell Russell, “I miss the baby, I want to wake her up.”  I go in and check on her a few times a night, and at least once, every single night; I go in and pick her up. She’s still asleep, and she rests her head on my shoulder. I rub her back, and tell her how much I love her. I kiss her, put her pacifier back in her mouth, and put her back down.. and then I go into my room, and watch whatever HBO program I’m watching at the moment on my laptop. Missing her, still. 

I was telling my mother the other day over a text that, I love her so much it hurts. And it does. There are a lot of things about my independence (aka pre baby life) that I miss desperately. But then, when I’m holding her close, her head resting on my shoulder, I can’t even remember what it was like without her. And I don’t want to. Sure, I have fond memories of what my life use to be like. And I miss it every day, in one way or another. But, my life has so much more purpose now than it ever had before. 

When life gets really tough, and I feel like I have nothing left, I just look at her. And I remember that life really isn’t so bad, after all. I have this beautiful, smart, funny, and adventurous daughter who has made me whole. 

There is no greater love than a mother’s love for her children. I know that now. It’s all I will ever know now. 

 

 

eight months.

23 Mar

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happy eight months, baby girl. i love you so. 

 

 

my best friend reminded me today that only four more months and she’ll be a year old. that hurts my heart just a tiny bit. stay my baby forever, please. 

girls night.

15 Mar

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tonight my best friend, jenn, and i went out to dinner just the two of us. it was really nice to have dinner with her and just catch up. we rarely go out just us two, so it was just fun to do my makeup and dress up for a change. just before dinner, we stopped at our other friend Jenny’s mom’s to drop off a recommendation letter i wrote for Jenny’s little sister, Zuzu. She is doing a fashion project and applying for an internship. We took these photos for her project… hopefully our outfits are considered somewhat hip? (I hope you get it, Zuzu! SO proud of you) 

 

 

and a photo of Lux & I before I left for dinner:

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**the lipstick i’m wearing is MAC’s creme d’nude. 

***my nail polish, which you can only see the thumb, is essie- pretty edgy (had to get in season for St. Paddy’s Day. (Yes, it’s Paddy’s. Get a real Irish friend & ask them how goes it in Ireland) THANK YOU, HEGARTY’S. 

My name is Emily and I am a Klutz.

11 Mar

Yesterday, I took a spill down the stairs. Ended up cutting my hand open on Christmas lights we use to wrap the stairs. Literally broke two of the bulbs on the string of lights on my hand. And on top of that banged my hand up pretty bad. Thought I might have broken for a few hours. It still is swollen and bruised and hurts. But around 9pm last night the rest of my body started to hurt. I woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a truck.

My house was an utter mess today. My sister offered my 18 year old nephew, Crispin, come by to help me clean while I watched the baby and folded laundry (we had a TON of laundry). I offered to pay him and take him to lunch for his work. He didn’t take my money, but am going to give him $20 for it next time I see him anyway. And we went out for La Vic’s (big mistake, my stomach hates me now).

This recent spill down the stairs has got me thinking I legitimately need a safety net around me at all times. I thought about all my clumsiness in the last few years, and trust me my body hates me for it:

-in 6th grade I broke my nose playing softball in a playoff game against a team we desperately wanted to beat. I was playing right field. The ball was hit to a more center left and ran over near second base just for back up. The ball was thrown to me, but the sun was in my eyes and the ball hit the tip of my glove and landed right into my face. That’s what I get for trying to help out and move to a position I was not originally picked to play.

– at my best friend, Jenny’s high school graduation I decided to sit under a tree because it was hot and I was tired. Big mistake. I realized about 7-8 spiders were crawling all over me so I quickly got up and in the process completely rolled my ankle in these stupid platform flip flops I was wearing. I’m already tall, why did I even bother with the stupid sandals. Dumb dumb dumb. My ankle swelled up like a balloon and would cry any time someone even barely touched my foot. It was only a sprain. I am such a baby. My boss at work later asked me if I was on acid and imagines the spiders. I wish that were the case.

– at a party my friends mom was having, where there may have been several alcoholic beverages consumed, I stepped on a Corona bottle and cut my foot open.

-at my best friends Megan and Alyssa’s house we would have parties when her parents went out of town. Broke a picture frame and cut my arm open. Demanded to be taken to the hospital, which my friends just laughed and said I was being a baby.

-was walking down a hill at UCSC in my uggs and slipped and fell down the hill. Walked about a mile to my car, lifted my pant leg to find my knee completely split open. Went home to clean it up and was worried I needed to go to the doctor to get stitches. My roommates assured me I was fine. The next morning I went in the doctors and told me I should have came in and that I did need stitches but waited too long. They cut layers of fat off my knee. It looked like hamburger meat. Or ground beef, whichever you prefer. It was disgusting.

-fell again on campus. Except this time it wasn’t too bad. Just very embarrassing.

I am sure there are more amazingly awesome stories to go along here. My poor body. No matter how often I try to tell myself, I am not 16 anymore. I’m not even 20 anymore. Hell, I’m almost not even 25 anymore.

Let us pray that the klutz in me has finally found its way out in this last falling down the stairs incident.

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My hand right after I fell.

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My hand A few hours after the fall. A little bit swollen.

a trip to the bookstore.

7 Mar

Yesterday, Lux and I took a quick trip to Barnes & Noble. I’ve been meaning to get her some board books for her to learn how to turn pages, and of course for her to gnaw on, like she does everything else. Image

i snapped this gem while we were at the bookstore (i can’t help constantly taking pictures of her, she’s just soooo beautiful and perfect).

 

we ended up getting 3 board books:

Image(had to get goodnight moon, somehow we didn’t have it? don’t know how that’s possible)

 

 

and I had, had, had to get this classic:

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I almost forgot about Ferdinand, how could I? Such a great story.

 

I couldn’t believe that I only got 4 books (3 of these weren’t even like BOOK BOOKS) and we ended up paying like $45. Yikes. I usually hit up a used book store in downtown Campbell, but with these small board books, there aren’t always a great variety of them so I decided to splurge. Can’t wait until she’s old enough to actually enjoy reading or being read to so we can hit up the library. 

 

ordinary moments

2 Mar

i got a new tattoo last sunday…. and it’s huge. it’s awesomely huge:

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sorry mom and dad. (mostly dad, mom’s seen it)… i know they’ll hate it, but they’ll have to see it sometime, soon. might as well hear it now! 

ATTENTION: I expect that a few people will probably dislike my tattoo.. and if that’s the case, fine be it. But that is their problem, not mine. I love it, and my opinion in this matter is the only one I care about. I don’t dislike anyone who chooses not to have tattoos. So I’d appreciate it if I’d be left alone. I most often wear T-shirts that would cover more than half of it up. So if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all— thank you =) 

 

i had coffee and lunch with my best friends, Jenny & Jenn, today, and they took this photo of Lux & I… it’s my new favorite photo of us:

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if anyone is wondering her dress is from Baby Gap, and the tights (I’m not too sure, my mom bought the tights but i think maybe JC Penny’s). [[my baby dresses better than I do.]]

**my lipstick is MAC’s “Ruby Woo” (it’s a matte), with MAC’s “Redd” lipliner, if anyone is curious. Also, my nail polish is essie “mint candy apple”.