Tag Archives: motherhood

eleven months.

23 Jun



happy 11 months to this sweet girl!




i wanted to make a quick note about this photo: it isn’t the typical photo of her, sitting and smiling, and acting like a goog little angel. I felt this photo is one of the most honest, especially for her age. She’s into EVERYTHING, wanting to climb and stand on things… this is my daughter.  


She is more like me than I let myself believe, at times. She is a wild one, and I want that to be celebrated at every chance we get. 


Happy eleven months, my darling. I can’t believe this is your last month of being a baby. Next photo and you’ll be my toddler. 😦 


ten months.

25 May



On Thursday (23rd, remember), Lux turned 10 months. 


I still can’t believe I almost have a toddler on my hands. But all the same, I love her so and love watching her grow. She is SO smart, and I couldn’t be more proud to be her mama. 


Next weekend, Russell and I are going away for one night for a “couples night in” package [lobster dinner in the hotel room, an hour long couples massage, and a bonfire on the beach with s’mores– ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!] at a resort in Seascape. It’ll be the first night where the both of us are away from her (my mom is gonna watch her). I’m pretty excited, but of course, worried and sad that I’ll be away from her. One of my many joys of being her mama, is that I get to peek in on her when she’s sleeping. I guess I could hang without her for one night, and besides, Russell and I really need the quality time alone. But I’ll miss her and probably call my mom three different times while we’re gone.



nine months.

25 Apr




i’m a few days late, i’m just getting over the most terrible stomach flu that became an epidemic in my family. no joke, 6 of us in our family got it. and in pure Emily fashion, I got it the worst. oh, the fun things you endure for having a compromised immune system


anyways, on Tuesday (the 23rd), Lux turned 9 months old. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. 


seriously, just three more months and she’s no longer a baby? what? *sigh*


she’s starting to stand on her own. she babbles a whole lot. not sure about what,

but she’s got some really important things to say, apparently. still no saying mama, but i swear she said “No” to me the other day….


and so it begins…..


happy 9 months my daughter. i love you more with every day that 

just some words.

13 Apr



I’ve begun to notice how painfully tired I am every single morning when the baby wakes up. How I’m pretty snippy, and grouchy when I’m getting out of bed. Whining, wishing I could just sleep an extra ten minutes, half hour, two hours. But then I get up, and head downstairs with my girl and the day begins. I usually grab a soda, coffee, or tea to wake me up. Why am I complaining? She never wakes up before 7:30 am, and averages 8 am every morning. I have friends who baby’s wake up at 6. 

As the day passes, I get little breaks here and there when she goes down for naps. I really enjoy these times to myself. Sometimes I nap, catch up on my favorite TV showed with I DVR’d the night before, or do the dishes or start the laundry. I selfishly think, why can’t she take a three hour nap? So I can take a real nap. But, I am always grateful for any nap she gives me. 


Then, night falls. And all I can think about is how much I miss her. I constantly tell Russell, “I miss the baby, I want to wake her up.”  I go in and check on her a few times a night, and at least once, every single night; I go in and pick her up. She’s still asleep, and she rests her head on my shoulder. I rub her back, and tell her how much I love her. I kiss her, put her pacifier back in her mouth, and put her back down.. and then I go into my room, and watch whatever HBO program I’m watching at the moment on my laptop. Missing her, still. 

I was telling my mother the other day over a text that, I love her so much it hurts. And it does. There are a lot of things about my independence (aka pre baby life) that I miss desperately. But then, when I’m holding her close, her head resting on my shoulder, I can’t even remember what it was like without her. And I don’t want to. Sure, I have fond memories of what my life use to be like. And I miss it every day, in one way or another. But, my life has so much more purpose now than it ever had before. 

When life gets really tough, and I feel like I have nothing left, I just look at her. And I remember that life really isn’t so bad, after all. I have this beautiful, smart, funny, and adventurous daughter who has made me whole. 

There is no greater love than a mother’s love for her children. I know that now. It’s all I will ever know now. 



valentine’s day, friends, & updates

20 Feb

last week, my friend and fellow mom, Rochelle, came over with her adorable son, Hudson. Boy, is that boy full of energy and spunk! He slapped Lux in the face, so since he showed his love, she wasn’t down to be around with him. She pretty much cried the whole time they were over, so I put her down for a nap. I should really be thanking him, because she slept a WHOLE two hours! I was only able to get one decent photo of the two, since she wasn’t really friendly with him after the whole slap in the face thing. 





this valentine’s day marked russell & i’s third together. we have always done the same thing: stay in and make this eggplant dish that he made me for our first valentine’s day. it never fails because it is SO good. i’ve been meaning to do a post about it and put the recipe up, but i’ve been lazy. this year, we planned the same thing, but i wanted to go the extra mile… so i decorated the table we have and got him a special present. I bought him a whiskey decanter, with four double whiskey glasses, whiskey stones (which are REALLY cool, they act as ice in your whiskey, they don’t melt so it doesn’t water down your whiskey–i think russell likes the idea of them rather than the stones itself, but i know he appreciates it!) and I figured you can’t buy a whiskey set without whiskey so bought him jameson reserve to go with it. 




i think he was really surprised! he got me the roses and picked up the champagne… oh, and that bottle of pinot noir called gypsy boots. AMAZING! So smooth and so delicious! it was overall just a relaxing, nice evening with the two of us (Lux went off to bed with no issues, at a decent time!–thank you baby!)


Over this last weekend it was president’s day weekend. Our close friends, Matt & Victoria came over with their baby, Leah (remember, it’s pronounced Leia). I made a marinade for a Hawaiian Rib eye, baked potatoes, and green beans. The boys worked on my car which was out of commission, and then BBQ’d the ribeyes. It turned out pretty good, I must say. And as always, Costco has the best meat. EVER. Leah is getting so big, and cute as ever!




lux has been getting into all sorts of trouble, crawling and sitting up… and even STANDING up. Russell and I just bought her a sippy cup, which she still is getting use to, I mean she doesn’t drink on her own I have to hold it… but she knows how to get water out of it. She eats pretty much every food, like a champ! I even bought some Gerber Graduate cereal puffs. She’s feeds them to herself, still learning how to pick things up and learning how to chew. I can’t believe she’s almost 7 months old. Yikes. I didn’t believe people when they said they grow up fast. They really do! 


ordinary moments

5 Feb




It’s these moments that I love being a mom. I see her sweet face, discovering new things and i just melt right into the floor. 

Most who know me know I never planned on becoming a mother. I never wanted it, but maybe it’s because I really had no idea. I still struggle with the idea of me being a mom. But it’s days like today, where she’s got carrots all over her face, and nothing in but a diaper and I know she was meant to be mine. I was meant to be her mother. And I am so thankful that she has come into my l life. 

She has really brought so much light into my life. And the love I have for her is undeniably too insane for me to begin to describe. 

My darling daughter, thank you for coming to me and making me smile every day. Even when mommy is sooo tired and she cries because you’re crying.. know that mommy loves you more than anything else in this world.