four months.

yep, this girl turned four months yesterday…

I was just saying how I wish she was still little like a newborn.

but she’s getting to this age where she’s doing more stuff. and it’s so much fun to see her roll over,

laugh more, and try to sit up on her own like a big girl.

She’s been super grouchy today, so I’m surprised she let me take these photos.

She’s also been teething like crazy. Poor girl, I wish I could do it for her so she wouldn’t feel the pain.

Just glad I don’t remember teething, cause it seems terrible.

this girl is such a peach.

three months.

Yesterday (the 23rd), Lux turned three months. Okay, can my baby stop getting so big now?!

We just got back from visiting my brother and his family in Vegas yesterday, too. Lux is a pretty good traveler, I must say! I think she had a good time visiting her cousins, especially, baby Benjamin. Even though he tried to poke her eyes out! 

I have photos from Vegas, but my darling three month old is rather grumpy. So until next time…

Oh yeah… and she’s discovered her toes. SOOOO cute. 

black and white.

I get the camera out as much as possible these days. She’s getting so big, so I feel the need to take pictures of her doing all sorts of stuff… These photos, I played with a bit. And when I say I played with them, I really mean I just put a black and white filter on them.

I often wonder how it’s possible that I got this beautiful, special little girl. I mean, yes I know how she came to be, but how did I get so lucky that she turned out to be so beautiful? How did I get so lucky to get such a GOOD baby?!  Gosh, I sure do love this little face, so much….

a sneeze.

pretty cute, right?

ordinary moments in our ordinary lives

i love this sweet little face!

two months.

my little girl is two months old today. I can’t believe she’s already two months… well,

I guess I can believe it. I love her more and more every day. Thank you, baby, for

bringing me more joy in my life than anything else ever could. 

Let’s see, two months and:

• she smiles a whole lot… especially in the mornings when she just wakes up. I tried SO hard to get her to smile in these photos, she was too tired. She passed out as soon as I was done taking pictures of her. 
• she is a pretty solid sleeper when it comes to night time. it takes a couple of hours to get her to go down, but once she does she’s out for like 4-5 hours, then up for like 30 mins while we change and feed her, and back down again for sometimes 6 hours. She’s like my little teenager.
• she talks a whole bunch. I mean, it’s not real talking… but this girl sure does have something to say.

I got some great photos of her sneezing… like before, durning, and after a sneeze. I may put it together in one photo and share sometime. It is pretty cute/funny. 

tummy time.

Every mom knows about tummy time. If you’re unfamiliar, I’ll sum up what it says here, about tummy time: It’s when we put the babies on their tummy (amazing, right!?) while they’re awake, which hopefully will encourage the babies to lift their heads and make them stronger! Since day one, Lux has been pretty strong. She’s been holding her head up when we held her… but still, I do it so she can get more practice and strength!

Lux, with everything she does the first time, hated it. But the more we put her on her tummy, the more she started to lift her head… and she seems to enjoy it (as long as it’s on her terms, of course.)

I get so proud of her when she lifts her head. I always say, “yayyy, baby!” or “mommy’s so proud of you, Lux!”

My sister made this vest for her… it’s so cute. She also bought her the skirt…

grandpa.

I’ve posted some about my grandfather in earlier posts. I’ve been going over there every day for the last couple weeks to visit with him and help out as much as I can. Most days I bring the baby, I figured that the house needs to be filled with some sorts of joy with how things have been going. I don’t want to go into too much detail about all the happenings going on over there because it’s very personal to me and my family… but things have been pretty hectic, to say the least.

All I know, is that I’m so very pleased to share my daughter to her great-grandpa. He is one of the very best men out there… and it makes me happy to know the two got to meet and give each other love. Even if she won’t remember him, I will remember it.

Ordinary Moments in our Ordinary Life

Since I’ve had such a rough past week dealing with some family stuff and my concerns about nursing, I thought I’d share some fun photos I took of baby girl:

Now, this little girl doesn’t always need her binx (thank god, she can handle life without her binky.. I know there are some kids out there that NEED one). But when she does want it, she NEEDS it. Don’t mind that stain on our floor—apparently, when you have kids, the carpet just miraculously grows stains  over night… 

Or in the afternoon, when she throws up all over mommy, herself, and the floor… but now she is starting to doze off on my chest. I’ll take the bad because the good is REAL good 😉

Update…

I went to the doctors again on Thursday to check-in following my little episode on monday. Nothing much to really report on… just more blood tests to be taken next week, and a GI referral. Same as usual…

I have been really struggling with feedings lately. Because I’m still on pain medication, and not feeling very well in general, I don’t feel right about breastfeeding. So we’ve been on formula, and the occasional BF sesh in the mornings before I take anything, or late in the evening. But when I do nurse her, she doesn’t latch as well anymore… she’s become lazy. And because of all this my supply has diminished. I am trying to pump and dump, too… but it doesn’t look promising.

I am really having a hard time, emotionally, dealing with the fact that I may not be able to nurse for much longer. I had finally reached a point where it was established, and my baby was thriving. Seesh, even Snooki is nursing her baby… what does that say about me being a mother? It pains me to give her the formula, but deep down I know it’s the right thing to do.

I would kill to be healthy again. I can’t even remember what my life was like before I got sick and would have these random attacks. It puts a damper on my happiness, and makes it really difficult for me to get a lot of things done as a new mother. I just think, if this never happened to me, I’d never had Russell give her the formula when I was stuck to an IV in a gurney. But…this is my life, and I have to deal with these things, and make the best decisions for me and my family.

I really need to make it a priority to take better care of myself. I must, I must!

*Not that anyone ever comments on my posts, but I disabled comments. I am really sensitive about this topic of nursing. Trust me, I know that I should keep breastfeeding. I know it’s the best possible thing for my baby. I wish I could have kept up exclusively breastfeeding.